"Home"

I apologize to all my readers.  I really failed at keeping up with my blog.  Most mornings I woke up at 5:30 or 6 and most nights I went to bed around midnight, struggling to keep my eyes open.  But God did so many cool things, and this is my effort to redeem not keeping you posted while I was actually in country. :)

Before I left, I had conversations with a few people that what I was doing was not "sustainable" in the sense that the teams and I were not going overseas to do work that would create long-term jobs for the people of Ecuador, or change their lives in similar ways.  BUT....we introduced them to the Gospel of Jesus Christ and THAT will forever change their lives. 

For me, this trip is never solely about me going to minister to the people in the country we are going to.  It's about me ministering to the STUDENTS on our trip, and equipping them to SHARE the gospel with the native people in whatever country we go to.  And I watched them grow in many amazing ways. 

Students shared their intense struggles, and I watched God redeem their stories and give them peace, encouragement, and hope. 

Although I am exhausted in every way, coming home is always a struggle for me.  It's like I was a complete puzzle in Ecuador, using literally all the gifts God has given me....and then I come home, and pieces are missing that I left there.  Many are pieces of my heart. 

When I go on these trips, I am able to use all of the gifts God has given me:
I can speak Spanish, I can use my counseling skills, I can use my knowledge of Autism and special needs, I can lead and be organized and use my Communications tools, I can love on the students, I can sing, and I can dance.  I can't even begin to explain how it feels to use every gift Jesus has so graciously placed in my arsenal.  It is so life fulfilling.  And so this is why coming home always hurts in a way, even though I am so excited to see my family and friends and the people and places I love here.  When I come home, I feel incomplete again. 

Even though It's been about three years since I took my last Spanish class, those years in middle school, high school, and college paid off, and it all comes flooding back as soon as I start seeing and hearing the language again.

Although I don't have my master's degree in counseling, I have walked through many valleys that counselors help people through myself, and that experience has been invaluable for me.  I have watched God use and redeem my story in amazing ways, if only I am willing to share it with others.

I used what I have learned in the past 8 months about children with Autism and other special needs children, to talk with and relate to a Mom and her son with special needs in a park in Quito, and to talk with Moms on the trip about people in their lives with special needs.

I came alive when I was able to use the things I was learning in school about Communication and the gifts God has given me to be a leader to work on flight details, event planning, being a personal assistant to speakers, and to assist in leading a team. 

And last, but certainly not least...my students.  How I love them.  They gave me hope and encouragement, and I was privileged to watch them grow and step up to what was being asked of them, even when they were tired and hungry.  I am so proud of them.  God intertwined our lives in amazing ways, and I will miss all of them dearly. 


But never will I doubt that Jesus has a reason for me to be HERE right now.  I have begun to see how he is using me at my places of work, and that the things I am learning in school and want to learn in grad school are things that are much needed in countries around the world, that we take for granted here in the United States.  But the waiting is awful. 

#homesickforEcuador